Break Me
by alandoflimbo
Summary: In which Bucky and the reader deal with their emotions over their friend Steve's death in the worst way possible- having hard sex.


**Pairing:** Bucky Barnes/OC (reader)

 **Rated:** M

A/N: SO I initially posted this on AO3 and I got a lot of demands for a chapter 2 buutttt..I wanted a second opinion. :)

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 ** _Break Me_**

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Just forty-eight hours ago he had been laughing in your arms and kissing that little spot on your neck(that's right, the one right behind your ear) that drove you crazy.

You could still feel the soft, warm, and firm skin of his hands under your small fingertips like a phantom pain that would come and go when you most craved it- like now. That was the problem, you kept craving it over and over again. It's heart wrenching and after the last episode, you didn't think you'd be able to handle another.

Though here it was, like a slap to your face; the feeling shoots back into your skin making your body shake violently.

The sudden jolt causes you to brace your left arm onto the big oak next to you. Feeling light headed by the overwhelming wave of emotions that accompanied grief, you subconscious dig your nails into its soft bark, trying your very best to maintain the balance you felt yourself loosing once again.

With a soft stomp, you dig your feet into the mud below you, not yet having gathered enough courage to move closer to the wooden box that held your boyfriend's lifeless body.

Mixed with a heavy gust of pure cold, the heavy platter of the rain made your cover shake. It vibrated through the handle of the black umbrella right into your tiny right hand, making you grip it hard to not allow it to blow away or turn inside out against the downpour. That vibration made you take a deep breath, for somehow to you it resembled his heart beat which you knew would never exist ever again.

That thought alone makes you close your eyes tightly together and a sharp pain goes directly through your chest as you take a deep breath. Lights flash behind your lids and you see his smile, you see his blue eyes, and the perfect nose that you loved to kiss. You swear you can hear his laughter, and as you do it echoes out into the sound of rumbling thunder.

You open your eyes and you see the large American flag that was draped over the casket swaying heavily in the annoying wind, its upper right corner slipping slightly lower than the other corners towards the green draping that covered the six feet deep hole which he would soon be in forever.

Your eyes dart around to each face, some stared frozen at the box, others at the growing puddles beneath their feet- the women hugging themselves tightly to try and keep warm.

Some eyes look up at you in pity, others judging.

You look away, embarrassed. You knew it was disrespectful of you to have gotten there late, but It's not like you didn't spend the last few days crying out in pure agony into the skies that would just not stop pouring down rain. And, honestly, you didn't want to hear the sounds of the soldiers that didn't even know him for HIM- playing their trumpets as they carried his body down to his grave.

For fucks sake, you couldn't bear to be by his lifeless body without falling apart one more god damn time.

A tear runs down your cheek as you keep staring at the casket. You had thought he was indestructible, hell, they all did. The ones that looked on with you, held a look of disbelief on their face as they stared at the coffin in a total daze, questions evident on their face. And not to forget the simple factor that this could've all been prevented. It was incomprehensible.

The only person who seemed to have been holding it together was Tony. You knew, though, that it had nothing to do with the fact that it was because it was Steve but more so because it was Tony. He had to live up to the name of being the backbone. You pitied him and worried if he wanted to lose it as much as everyone else around the globe, but he simply just hadn't had the chance to yet.

A warmth overflows you as you remember. You had met Steve about a year ago while on a mission in Sokovia. Tony hired you as an agent to help organize the tactics and keep everything organized aside your newly partner Maria Hill, which ended up going perfectly. The mission was a complete success and the team had left with a couple of dozen of hostages still alive at their hand and because of that, that night you were invited to celebrate back at the tower.

The moment Steve had introduced himself was a moment you would never forget. It was everything out of a fairy tale, starting with him offering you a dance and ending with him giving your hand a gentle squeeze. Not even a day went by and you were asked to joint on another mission, and then another. You could still remember his soft eyes and how humble he was when he started showing interest in you.

You could tell he treated you with much respect, not touching you too much but still making it obvious that he wanted to make you his. There was a certain lust there and you wondered if that's how he used to look at Peggy. But no, you could never compare yourself to her, you were sure agent Carter was irreplaceable.

Soon enough you were together, and you were both so happy.

There was a moment where things took a turn for the worst, god how you wished none of it had happened. You wish things were still simple, go to a mission, things go right, go back to sleep with your perfect Steve, and then repeat.

You should have listened to Bucky.

Like a dark haze, you could still remember sitting in the kitchen in the compound in an extra long white t-shirt, it must've been around 3AM. You had made sure to leave Steve's side without waking him, hoping your growling stomach didn't do that already. You couldn't help it, sex made you want the munchies bad.

You were starving and was absolutely delighted when you remembered you had saved some leftover tacos in a styrofoam box in the fridge from the day before. You practically skipped to the fridge and put it in the microwave. You were about to devour your day-old Mexican food when a voice came from your right side, making you jump.

"You're perfect for each other."

You did a double take, not expecting to see Bucky still awake. At first, you were concerned that he was having his nightmares again, but you thought those ended a while ago after Wakanda had practically fixed him. You took in his apparel- his hair was still neat and he wore a black t-shirt, some jeans, and a half cocky smile that you always loved. You watched as he made his way over to you, the only light being the one over the island.

You picked up your fork and raised a brow at him, "You're still up?"

You heard him sigh as he ran a heavy hand through his freshly cut hair, pulling at the ends. You always adored his long hair, it gave him a certain edge that drew you to "get to know Steve's friend a little more", but when half the team had convinced him to get it cut just to see how it would dwell well with his cured brain, you immediately were thankful.

He was gorgeous.

You tried to clear your throat as best you could through a mouthful of spicy chicken, you didn't like always having those constant thoughts of Bucky. It was borderline inappropriate. But damn a girl could look, right?

You could sense the tension radiating off his body as he sat down on a stool directly in front of you. You tried your best to avert your eyes meanwhile his own furrowed as he eyed yours freshly overheated ceramic plate.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at you, humor in his eyes.

The thing about Bucky that pained your heart was that he was the perfect boy next door. He was charming, funny, sarcastic, an ass, and clearly very attractive. You had been with Steve for over two weeks when you finally got around to meeting him properly for the first time and you two immediately hit it off like best friends.

The three of you were inseparable and you held a special place in your heart for Bucky. You always told him that any girl would be lucky to have him, and that he better chose you to be his second best "woman" at his wedding. That's the thing about him, everyone knew he deserved someone special, but he was complicated.

After your remark, Bucky would laugh and ruffle your hair and then push your head playfully calling you a "dumbass", not letting it show that what you said pained him a bit. He was obviously friend zoned.

You were so lost in thought you hadn't noticed his curious fingers picking at your soft taco shell.

With a tiss of your tongue, you swatted his hand away dramatically, "Stop, Bucky!"

He rubs his thumb and pointer finger and waves it in the air as if he burned it, "I was just feeling it. Shit feels like rubber, how long did you put that in the microwave for?" A look of disgust clearly on his face.

You glared at him, a smile playing at your lips, "Like thirty seconds. The new one Tony got just has mad Watts on it. It overheated."

Bucky nodded understanding. In a matter of seconds, his face changed back to that tense look he had when he first came in. You swallowed one more bit of the mixed rice before putting your fork down on your plate. You were becoming worried. If he was having nightmares again he would tell you, right?

"Bucky," he looked up again, this time his elbows rested on the island and he was leaning his mouth against his crossed hands. His eyes looked deep in thought as he stared at you, before quickly looking away.

Oh no.

A sense of dread filled you, "What's going on?"

Bucky looked back at you as if contemplating to himself if he should tell you or not, and that alone made you terrified. Was he hiding something? Was Steve hiding something? Did he or Steve do something? Was it about you?

"Y/N...I don't know," He unraveled his hands and ran his metal one through his hair one more time. He looked at the table as if it was the most interesting thing in the world and took a deep breath, "this mission we having coming up-"

You furrowed your brows, "The one in Siberia?"

Bucky nodded.

This was a side not many people got to see of him. He'd have his doubts and he would be nervous about certain missions, especially ones that hit close to home for him. He would only tell you about it, so this turn in the conversation didn't surprise you too much.

You figured he needed some word of encouragement and reassurance, that it would all be fine.

"I got a bad feeling about this one."

His face was sad. This was probably why he couldn't fall asleep. You smiled softly and reached out your hand to caress the flesh one that was laying on the table. Bucky gaped as he stared at your hand on his and he gulped. You swore you saw a tinkle of something in them, but you were probably just seeing things.

"You guys will be fine, Bucky." Your voice was strong and steady, and you could tell it convinced him because his face slightly softened.

He brought his thumb over your knuckles and softly rubbed your hand.

But that convincing didn't last too long on him, and neither were you too convinced the moment you saw that air jet fighter accidentally miss the coordinate, for the missile that was for the building you called for, for the wrong building; the one both you and Bucky knew he was in.

It was a blur of screams, crying, explosions, and nausea. You had fallen to your knees as you saw the entire infrared image unfold before you on the screen into a ball of fire. Everyone onboard the command system was dead silent except for Bucky who was trying to communicate through his earpiece asking what that explosion was and what the hell was going on.

His rough voice drifted away into the distance as you ripped out your earpiece, your entire self-crumbling in pain into the ground below you.

You remember the hysterics, the rest of the room trying to communicate with the other agents telling them to return to the quinjet as soon as possible.

Everything after that had been a vacuum of death.

Another rumble a thunder and you're brought back to reality- you hadn't realized until today, seeing Bucky standing in front of Steve's coffin, that you haven't even spoken to Bucky since that day.

Your hand squeezed tightly around the handle as you watched Bucky's face stared at the wooden casket, mortified. His eyes were probably resembling how yours looked - red and bloodshot. His nose was a little pink, probably from all the irritation from rubbing it dry. Your heart ached so much. You wanted to run up to him and hug him, but you just couldn't bare yourself to do it yet.

You could not move.

Please look at me. Please look at me.

As if he could hear your pleading thoughts, his eyes shot up and met yours in a daze. He looked utterly broken, but the looked only further proved that you two knew what the other was going through at that moment, and it hurt so bad.

His stare bore into you like a thousand flames, and it made you feel utterly numb. His eyes were conveying emotions that left you both confused but yet you knew it could be summed up in three little words. You needed him, you needed a friend, someone to just hold onto and cry. Clearly, he wanted that, too.

You both stood there for the rest of the funeral, listening and watching as they rolled him slowly down into the ground. The moment Steve disappeared for good, your bottom lip started to tremble and you spun around on your heel and made your way back to your private car where your driver was waiting for you. Bucky watched you the entire time, wanting to run up to you and grab you. But now wasn't the time, not yet.

The ride to the tower had been deathly quiet, your driver know to not say anything in order to allow you to process this day, this week. Hell, would it take months even? He didn't even say bye as he dropped you off, and you didn't care either. You opened your own door, not allowing him enough time to get out and open it for you, your feet taking you to your room on its own as if completely disconnected from the rest of your body.

The second you closed the bedroom door behind you, your back slid down against it and you brought your knees to your chest.

You sat there crying for hours before you decided to take a shower -in his shower- and change into some comfy clothes; a pair of grey sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. Both were Steve's.

Tony didn't have the heart to tell you could no longer live on the avenger's floor. Not yet, at least. And to be honest you didn't have the heart to just leave Steve's room behind empty and cold even if he were to kick you out yesterday.

God, how you wanted to feel something -anything- that wasn't pain. You wanted to feel someone, something to forget any of this, maybe convince you it was all a bad nightmare.

A rumble came from your stomach as you tossed your hair back and you decided to make your way to the commons room.

It wasn't until you almost walked into the hallway wall that you realized that you had not eaten solid food in almost three days.

You closed your door quietly behind you, knowing that since it was close to midnight, and since it was a Tuesday, it was even more a reason for no one to be up.

You walked down the long dark hallway, making it your mission to quickly grab anything small and immediately head back to your (his) room.

You stepped into the commons room and stopped.

You saw a blue glow and soft talking coming from couch area and your eyes furrowed together in confusion. You decided to ditch the food for a second to follow the source. You weren't up for socializing but maybe this person needed exactly the same thing as you and it's why they were up, too. Yes, you were hungry, but for something else too.

You prayed it was him. You hoped it was him watching tv and hoped he didn't fall asleep with it on.

As you made your way around the side you saw Bucky laying there, fully awake. You were right.

He had a pillow under his head on one side of the couch, his left arm carelessly behind it. His other arm laid on his side. One of his legs was stretched out completely on the couch in front of him while the other was bent over the side. His right hand moved to pull at the jaw strings of his sweats, his eyes still fixated on the tv.

You gulped as you watched him pull down slightly and then slipping his right hand into his sweats. The moment he let out a whimper you knew exactly what he was doing.

You should've been shocked, but It took all of you to not rub your thighs tightly together as you watched him fuck himself. You watched him in a way you didn't expect to. Hell, quit lying to yourself, you always thought he'd be the perfect fuck of your dreams.

Your hunger was still there but now it was for something else- for another human connection.

You thought back to what you had told yourself in your room, how you wanted to feel something other than pain. You wanted to forget for just a moment. Standing there you realized that's what he wanted, too.

He wasn't touching himself because he thought now was a great time to make himself cum, it was because he wanted to feel something that wasn't pain.

Bucky practically jumped when his eyes flickered to yours. He caught a shadow on the far wall but was definitely not expecting it to be you.

The irony shook him and it made him grow even thicker in his hand because you were exactly what he had been picturing inside his head.

The silence between you was deafening and erotic. He just stared at you breathing hard, a blank look on his face. You swallowed thickly as you took in his beautiful blue eyes and his hand holding himself. When you looked back up his eyes were almost full on black and already staring at you. And he wasn't taking his hand out.

You both knew what was going on at that moment and you knew you were about to deal with grief in the worst way possible, and that it was filthy and wrong, but you needed it. Needed it hard and fast.

You made your decision and let out a moan, staring at his hand again. He looked you up and down as you slowly walked over to his side. You were towering over him and he was waiting to see what you would do next. He looked up at you and swallowed thickly, noting the glossed over look in your eyes that could only be described as pure lust.

He held a look of awe as you braced your right arm onto the back of the couch, and stretching your right leg around the left side of his body, delicately lowering yourself onto his lap. His eyes searched yours in wonder, finally removing his hand from himself.

Both of his hands went to your hips as he stared up at you in wonder.

The position you were both in was a compromise, borderline dangerous. But both of your emotions were clearly haywire at the moment. You watched as he looked down your body, finally being allowed to for the first time. And what a fucked up the first time it was.

His eyes welled with tears.

Your heart sunk into your stomach because you realize you've never actually seen Bucky Barnes cry before. Yet there he was right in front of you (or below you), allowing his walls to come fully down, hot tears running down his cheeks.

He sniffed as he grabbed on to your hand that was hanging by your side and held it to his chest. He looked at both of your hands together and held it tighter to his chest right above where his heart was.

The action made your own eyes swell as well and a soft whimper left the back of your throat as you brought the hand that was holding onto the couch to cup his cheek. You heard his breath hitch and you wiped away as much of the liquid on his cheeks as you could. His eyes were bluer than you had ever seen it before, and he was biting his rosy lips tightly to keep from sobbing.

You rubbed a tear from his cheek, "We'll be okay."

Bucky's eyes flew closed at your words and he nodded slowly, looking away from you.

"You're all I have left." He sobs, quickly letting go of your hand and using it to run down his eyes and face, trying to hide his crying as much as he could. It pained you so much to see him this way. You never stopped to think that Bucky had literally known Steve almost 80 years longer than you have. Steve was his only family left, and he was gone.

The last thing he wanted was for this beautiful

girl to see him cry. It didn't help that he was madly in love with you since the moment he laid eyes on you and never even got to tell you. And he couldn't do it now even more so because that would just be wrong.

You slowly lowered down your upper half so your face was close to him and you laid your cheek against his hot one. This action caught him off guard and he quickly snapped his head to look towards your direction. He wasn't expecting such close proximity and his eyes were practically narrowed as they stared into yours, your faces only centimeters apart.

You closed your eyes tightly together and rubbed your nose against his, letting your own tears fall onto yours and his cheeks together.

You felt his warm palm on the left side of your face as he tenderly used his fingers to push your hair back behind your ears. He sniffed again and took the moment of your eyes being closed to just watch your gorgeous face. You were so damn beautiful that his eyes were captivated by everything about you.

He remembers the moment he first laid eyes on you, how he wanted to grab you and kiss the living daylights out of you. He's surprised you never noticed the interest in you, but at the same time, he was grateful because that would've made him the worst friend in the world.

His face falls and tears deep from behind your lashes. He hated seeing you crying, he hated seeing you so damn broken.

Finally having control over your breathing, you slowly opened your eyes. Your breath got caught in your throat as you noticed the way he was looking at you. It was the same way Steve looked at you, but different- more powerful.

Once more he caressed your face with his thumb. He brought his thumb to your under-eye and dried them, then to the side of your nose, and then your perfect little lips. At that moment everything in the air seemed to have changed. You knew what he was doing and it was only confirmed when his eyes drifted from your eyes to your lips.

You gulped, not sure if you were ready for this moment when you saw his lips inch closer to you. This couldn't be happening. This was so wrong. Sorightsoright. You wanted to change your mind and push him away but at the same time you were drawn to him, you wanted this just as much as he did.

Maybe not in the same exact way, but you wanted to feel him all over you.

So when his lips finally met yours, your hand went back to his face and you pulled him closer, kissing him back deeply. A loud groan escapes the back of your throat and you whimper as he brushes his lips against yours deliciously.

It felt beyond perfect.

You never thought that kissing Bucky would feel perfect. Almost more than…

He was momentarily surprised you kissed him back and this urged him on further.

Now totally caught up in the moment, he brought his other hand to the other side of your face as he sat himself up, your legs now completely bent on his sides.

You pulled away from the chaste kiss and rested your forehead on his. How could you want this at a time like this? What was wrong with you? You started crying even harder, and now you weren't embarrassed. You were mouth open crying to Bucky as his own tears also ran down his face once more. The situation was so fucked up, Steve dying was so fucked up. Him wanting to fuck You right there was fucked up.

You couldn't control your breathing as your forehead fell onto his cheek. He held your face tenderly against his face as he caressed you. He wanted to scream up to the heavens to tell Steve how sorry he was for never telling him how he felt about you. How he knew Steve was going to propose to you soon, and how he wanted to take you right then and there already.

Bucky sniffed hard, rubbing under his eyes right before new tears took its place once again. He leans his face down to look at yours and kisses the side of your face where your lips meet the tip of your nose meet.

He peeks at you, almost whimpering as you both cry silently, "I want you." His voice was hoarse from the crying.

Those words send tingles down your spine and right into your core and you almost stop breathing. His face was one hundred percent serious. You looked at his eyes and saw that his want was beyond anything in his control and it was something he had been wanting for a while. It was taking everything in his willpower to not throw you over the edge of the couch and thrust into you.

You felt yourself growing wetter by the second, that hollow hole inside of you begging to be filled.

Your hands went to his neck once again as you pulled his face hard into you. Your lips connected messily in a mix of teeth and tongue and salty tears. It was intense and hot. A deep moan came from the back of his throat as you sucked on his tongue, his hands simultaneously drifting down to the waist of your pants. He felt you tug on the hem of his shirt but he put his hand over yours stopping you.

You look at him in confusion. His eyes were still black with lust, his lips swollen red from your heavy and overdue kisses.

"I can't wait any longer."

You nodded your head and helped him remove your pants. You felt the harsh tips of his nails inadvertently brush against the skin of your thighs as he pushes the fabric hurriedly down. You both stop and the two of you stare at your center as it became uncovered, revealing your pretty pussy to him for the first time. He stalls for a moment and just stares at it, not expecting you to not have been wearing any underwear.

He was lust blown as he gripped the back of your thighs, bringing you closer as if it's an earned prize. You were absolutely gorgeous. He was stunned at how perfect your skin was there, so pretty and soft and slightly darker than the rest of your body.

Your breath was shaking uncontrollably as you watched him watch you with such awe in his eyes. You swear you felt some of your wetness dripping down out of you. You lifted your left hand so it could caress the side of his face, running it through his hair.

Somehow you managed to wiggle out of your sweatpants, while touching his face, leaving your bottom half completely bare to Bucky for the first time.

You don't know how but Bucky had ended up with his face against your clothed tummy as he looked up at you like you were his queen. You continued caressing the side of his hair as you stared down at him, the tears in your eyes finally long gone and instead replaced with a look of complete lust.

"I've wanted this for so long." He whispered to you not beating a lash. This revelation makes your heart pace speed up.

"Wanted what?" You knew what but wanted to hear it.

"You. Your pussy. Since the moment I laid my eyes on you."

And this makes it soar.

Your skin is on fire, and you're sure it's flushing right before his eyes. You wanted to kiss him again, the urge overbearing.

He brings your body flush against him and you feel his handwork beneath you. It takes you a second to realize that he's pulling himself out from the confinements of his own sweats. He was serious about it happening now, not even any foreplay.

But you didn't need it, you were already just as ready as he was.

You practically feel yourself drip as you see his dick for the first time. It's big, thick, and long. Its head is purple and angry, begging to be touched. You feel his erratic breathing bouncing off your face as he brings his own flesh hand that's on your thigh to grasp his shaft.

The second he does he lets out a loud grunt and his hips thrust at their own accord up into his own fist. He looks back up at you and god you look so pretty and innocent, waiting to be ruined. He can tell by the smile tugging at the corner of your lip and your gaping that you love watching him like this.

He's breathing through his teeth as he moves his hand over himself- so needy and selfish.

You lower your face so it's against his once more, your eyes merely centimeters apart as you stare at each other.

Your left-hand runs down his hair and to the side of his jaw, "That's it. Stroke it hard." His eyes are clouded over as he quickens the pace of his hand, "feel good?" he nods at your question.

He moves his face even closer to you, if possible, his eyes staring into yours and his lips are practically dancing on yours as he says, "Slide onto me."

You're drenched, you know you are. You reach your right hand down to your pussy and you spread the wetness from your opening over the entirety of it, making it shine like it's a prized possession.

You throw your head back when you flick your clit with your finger, guiding your hips forward directly over his waiting dick. You both stare at the place where you're about to meet, both of you gaping at the sensation as his tip barely grazes your pussy.

"Tell me you want me." He whimpers, his thumb grazing a vein on his hard shaft. You're breathing so hard now, you just want to feel him touching you.

"I want you," you grit through your teeth, "please." You involuntarily thrust your hips towards his direction, your finger flicking your clit once more.

You hover over his shaft and he allows you to swallow him whole and you both moan loudly as he fills you.

"Shit you're tight," He brings his right arm to brush hairs behind your ears and the act makes your heart flutter unexpectedly, "so tight around my hard cock. Gonna make me cum?"

You nodded furiously as you began moving your hips over him.

He stares down at where you're spread around him, his practically purple dick breaking you in half.

It felt so good the way you rode him so deliciously, "That's it," your hand kept rubbing at yourself harshly as the pleasure ran through you like beautiful rivers.

You were touching just the perfect spot on your clit that always made you cum and the way he hit your cervix was perfect beyond words.

You stretch your left hand back behind you on the couch so you can put yourself on display for him, also making it easier for him to have some control. The new position drives him wild as he watches your little hard clit being rubbed and you throwing your head back in ecstasy.

You feel him grab the side of your hips as he rams himself harder into you, making his eyes roll back, "Oh yes. Yes."

His pleads make you groan out loud and he hits that special spot inside you at the same time. You barely open your eyes, and you catch the site that is Him.

The way his brows come together in concentration, his eyes watching you play with yourself in his lap as he fucks you. He was a beautiful man.

It all felt amazing, but you wanted to feel him closer. All of a sudden you both felt too far apart, but for different reasons.

His eyes flicker to yours and he pants through his teeth as you slow down.

He is about to ask what you're doing when you pull him up closer by his t-shirt. He moves up the couch, his hard shaft still seethed inside you, and you wrap your right leg around his upper back. He's now laying over you, both of you panting hard. He dips his head down and captures you in a delicious kiss that makes your walls contract around him making him grunt into your mouth.

He starts thrusting hard into you, his metal hand around your leg, the other gripping the armrest above your head.

His rapid thrusting makes you unexpectedly close to the edge fast. He pulls away from your lips and rests his forehead against yours. You look up at him and your heart soars once more along with another delicious wave of pleasure. His boyish hair and his innocent face contorted in pleasure. It hits you in that instance that this is Bucky, and finally, God finally, he's fucking you.

This makes you groan as an intense wave ruffles through your core, and you throw one of your own arms behind your head to grab the armrest.

"Yes, Bucky!" He fucks you even harder, his right hand now going to your center as he looks up at your face, his chin now on your cheek because you were bending your neck back in pleasure in an almost ninety-degree angle. His finger against your swollen clit makes you scream, "Fuck!"

You clench your teeth as your eyes snap open and they widen. It was here. God, it was here. You felt so damn close and you didn't know if you were prepared because it was going to feel too good.

Your head snaps back up and once again your forehead is on his. Your chanting yesyesyes over (your left hand pulling on his hair) and over again as he pinches your bundle of nerves while ramming into you.

"You gonna cum all over my cock, Y/N? Yeah? Yeah, baby?" His voice is practically a whine and you can tell he's close, too. You're trying so hard to watch his face, to capture this moment, but you're not sure you'll be able to once it hits you. You just nod quickly, sucking your bottom lip into your mouth, "tell me."

The moment those two words leave his mouth, the most intense pleasure you've ever felt in your life hits you like a truck and you throw yourself back once more, your back bending unnaturally, you scream, "I'm coming." your left-hand flexes so hard behind you grabbing onto the armrest and then off the edge, trying to grab onto anything.

You bend your right leg closer to your body, holding it open for him.

He pulls at your clit hard and you're done for as you groan, cumming around his cock.

You scream and groan so loud and he groans too as he feels your wall squeeze him. He keeps fucking and fucking you, not slowing down even when your orgasm has passed.

You're so sensitive as he continues to fuck you relentlessly, your body naturally trying to push yourself away from his cock, the feeling becoming almost too powerful for you to handle.

You wanted him to cum in you but it hurt, you stretched your left hand out to your center to try and push him off, not thinking you could take it anymore. You snap your head back up to meet his once more and you let out a growl and shiver, looking directly into his eyes.

You growl again, begging. His head is still there against yours and his scream is silent as he stared at your eyes.

Suddenly they close and you thank the heavens.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum." He grunts. He pounds into you three more times, "Shit shit." He looks down to the place you both meet and he drags his orgasm on letting out a loud groan as he spills himself into you over and over again.

He's breathing hard as he pulls himself out of you and you shiver, giving your own now pussy a smack and rub, your eyes rolling back.

Bucky's head lays on your clavicle as he stares down at the mess you two made. At the moment, he gives you a soft kiss on your collarbone.

And just like that reality falls over the both of you like a cold shower.

Bucky clearly had feelings for you, and he's obviously had them this entire time you've been with Steve.

You felt him shift over you as he pulls his pants over himself. He rests himself by his metal hand on the back of the couch, and he stares at you waiting for you to say something - anything. His eyes search your emotionless face.

When he realizes you're not going to say anything, he feels his heart fall apart and it shows on his face that he is upset. He feels disgusting and he wants to pull away from the mistake he just made. You feel your heartache and you want to tell him to stay, that you're sorry you can't feel the same way yet, but no words seem to come out.

He moves so he's now sitting on the couch and he looks over at the entrance to the common room to make sure no one saw their quickie. Even if they did, it was too late anyway. He was so caught up in you and everything you are that he didn't think about any of the consequences that would come out of this. He curses himself for his irresponsible decision.

You sit up on your knees and lean your chin on his shoulder as you watch his face switch from emotion to emotion, the last one being anger.

Angry at you, at himself.

"Bucky..." you whisper, trying to break the unbearable silence. Because this couldn't be it, it just couldn't.

He runs his fingers down his pants and then picks the invisible lint that's on it and flicks it off. He shakes his head and quickly gets up. You stare up at him, your bare self, trying not to cry.

"Please." You beg, your voice already tainted with sadness and despair.

He looks down at you-and god does he want to grab your filthy self and kiss you hard- and runs a hand down his face. He was madly in love with you and you didn't feel the same.

"I'm sorry." He says. He means it, and you both know those words hold many meanings. He was sorry for letting themselves get carried away, for letting it happen like this, for him loving you.

You wanted to tell him that he shouldn't be sorry but you were so numb. You couldn't do anything but watch him, heavy and hot tears in your eyes.

"Goodnight, Y/N." And with that, he went back to his room leaving you behind, exposed and irrevocably destroyed.


End file.
